I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
