I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
