I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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