Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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