yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
