Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
