so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
