I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize