You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
