all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
