Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
