She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
