Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
