No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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