I just gift wrapped bread.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
