...so i touched it.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
