Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
