There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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