I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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