opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
