Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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