i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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