There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
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