I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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