I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
