You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
that's an acceptable place to lick
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize