just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
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