no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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