I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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