Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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