So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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