The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
