I just saw a hot homeless man
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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