If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
