is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
