I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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