My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
