You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
