Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
you never un-have a 4some
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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