I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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