That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
