pop tarts are not kleenex
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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