Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize