did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
accomplished twins. life is a go
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
