I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
