In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
why is half of my head shaved?
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