He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
