And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
