marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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