butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
