i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
