you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize