We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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