Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
