He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
