so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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