I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
