If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize