I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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