you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
