she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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