that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
