you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize