so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
