You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
