I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
