woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
