Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
