my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
